what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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