you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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