great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
