If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
