I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
