We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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