Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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