Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
