with your own penis?
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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