this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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