I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
