were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
