Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
