I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
