I accidentally burped into my bong.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
