Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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