Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
