Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
