I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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