I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
