Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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