after a month anything with tits is on the radar
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
