Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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