I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
