dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Someone shit on the floor
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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