OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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