Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I love you. Go after that dick
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
