I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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