I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
