then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
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