:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Randomize
