Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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