i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
