We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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