So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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