Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
