I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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