hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
