I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
