I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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