Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
