: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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