Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
