Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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