Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
