Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
