So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
