I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
