Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
