Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
