What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
