nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
