either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
