I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
