Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
