You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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