Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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