I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
No I am not eating basil off your cock
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
