what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
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